Nung Sunday, gumawa ako ng formspring.me account. Nag-eenjoy ako magsagot ng mga tanong na anonymous. It makes me feel like people are curious about me and it makes me feel special.
Nung nagsscroll-down ako para tignan yung mga questions, I noticed one thing. Most of the people who asked me there are curious about my love life, crushes, or if I have a boyfriend, or if I like this certain person back, who do I miss, etc. I felt like some people's eyes are on me, waiting for the time I would finally give in to romancey stuff and who would be the person I will choose.
I tried to look back on past memories and nothing seemed prominent or even significant to share about that I can call as "experience".
And somehow, I felt like my self-esteem sank. For a girl like me, who is turning 19, is this normal? Not to have experienced something steady, serious, and worthwhile? Not to have experienced something that I can tell my friends about, or someone to even introduce to my family? Like someone who I had for a year or so who was amazing but then we split up because of irreconcilable differences? Something like that. Kahit ganun man lang, wala?
Not that I'm craving for experience, but sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me because of that. Are these lies of the enemy?
Because if these are lies being whispered in my head, I would rather not listen to them.
Maybe God's sparing me from all the heartache. Maybe He's setting me apart to give me so much more than what I could ever wish for. Maybe He's making my love story a very beautiful and inspiring one.
Maybe there's a boy out there, feeling the same way. Maybe he's hurting too. Maybe he thinks there's something wrong with him too. Maybe he's up at 4am too, blogging about the same things he's feeling.
Isn't that cute to think about? :) Haha. La lang. Weeeird thoughts.
Sige I gotta sleep na. Goodnight.
-Geline.:3
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