Apathetically Surrendered

I don't understand what I'm feeling right now. It's as if I'm a girl going through the motions of what's happening in my life right now. I'm just doing what is required of me, giving attention to people whom deserve it and ask it from me, and lifting up to God what is due to Him.

I do have dreams, I do have goals, and I do planned a future for myself. Maybe this is a point in my life where these dreams and goals are still too far away to achieve and I'm just here, blank-faced, trodding down that path and waiting for the climatic moments that seem so distant.

And yet, in spite of all this, I'm steadily happy and content. Like I just nod on whatever happens on a day-to-day basis because it's what makes me, me. It's what makes my life. Like I'm ready to catch curveballs thrown in every direction.

My life is blessed, wonderful, and bearable. And I'm happy with what life has to offer me because I know there's something better.

I believe in heaven. I have hope. That's why I'm apathetically surrendered in this life.