I was awakened by a friend's short phone call just a few minutes past midnight and ngayon siya naman nakatulog. I didn't wanna wake him up and all my roommates are sleeping and now I'm left alone and wide awake in our cold and cozy room. Today was our first exam for the first sem. It was hella stressful and I said to myself that the next thing I wanna do right after I reach dorm is to sleep immediately. But due to some bizarre natural occurence, we didn't have electricity sa dorm for the next 4 hours and I was here in my bed, practically wasting that four hours lying down where I could've been productive (and slept. HAHA). Sigh. Anyway.
That weird late night feeling creeps up again. That feeling where I'm lonely and discontent and still waiting on Him and His promises for me. That same feeling when I go to our rooftop and see the city lights only that it's in a somewhat negative vibe.
I'm such a dramatic and contemplative person, why can't I just be shallow for once? Like a simple, cheerful girl who likes to think about clothes, and makeup, and new gadgets, shoes, or the next place where she wants to get her hair done, the next place where she and her boyfriend would go for their next date, etc. Maybe then I would be happier and avoid these kinds of moments.
Often I dream about being alone in a place where nobody knows me. Then I could do everything that I want to do without the people around me passing judgement. And even if they did judge me, I couldn't care any less simply because of the fact that I don't know them. I wish I cared less about people's opinions and views about me, then I wouldn't have to build my self-esteem around it.
And.. I don't even know what I'm talking about right now already. HAHA! I guess I just have to deal with this weird feeling in another way. Like, maybe, sleep? Yeah, that's a good idea.
Goodmornight. :3
-Geline
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