You shall not ruin my day!
Since my blog is one of my consistent best friends (someone whom I can tell everything to without passing judgement towards me), I'm gonna list down everything I think of and feel as of the moment.
I feel like no one completely understands me. It's like there's a universe inside my head that is dying to be shared to someone who appreciates and understands in the same level as mine.
I sometimes feel like interacting with some people, or most people around me is a chore. It's not a chore that I don't like though, but I feel like it's something unnatural to me. I have to exert a certain composure and personality before I can be linked with the rest of the world. At least half of the time I feel this way, that I have to do this, I have to be like this, I need to say this, I need to know things about this and many others. It's exhausting sometimes. I see the dynamics of socialization as something that pressures me to share things that other people should like (even if it's not exactly what I like) and if not, I will just feel rejected.
I feel trapped sometimes. I wish to say random things and thoughts that I prefer not to say because I know they will not be replied to or will not be understood, laughed at, or appreciated by most, except for my family.
Maybe that's why sometimes I just prefer to be alone, or be with my family, or just pray.
Maybe I'm never meant to have a best friend.
i feel the same way before, but i'm sure you'll gonna find someone who completely understand you. Be open, make yourself open for others to understand the true you. prayer is really helpful but you also need to help yourself. goodluck! ciao
ReplyDeleteI tried once, or maybe twice. And I got hurt. Anyway, thanks for commenting! I appreciate it!:)
ReplyDelete